Evelyn looked up at the archangel. She did not feel safe. No, she felt afraid. Very afraid.
“Am I dead?” She asked.
The archangel slowly tilted his head and examined her, “Not yet. You linger, between.”
“Between what?” She tried to move, but found her legs tightly gripped by a foggy substance. All she could see around her was mist, not the type of mist you get early in the morning. This was more like a blanket, being slowly shook free of dust.
“Life. Death. Everything else.” He began to smile and Evelyn watched as his lips curled up slightly, “You are a curious little thing.”
Love is a gift
It holds no judgement
and is yours, to give freely.
Without a working laptop, I have done very little writing recently. This does have it’s advantages, as I have managed to catch up on some great reading. I have also had the poor luck of reading some not so great writing.
When I started writing Evelyn and The Shadowman, the idea was very, very different to what it now currently is. I had previously envisioned writing a novel in which the reader is never quite sure if Evelyn, is hallucinating the Shadowman as a means to process and deal with the abuse she suffers. As I began my first draft, with a very haphazard plan in my head, it soon took upon a life of it’s own. Evelyn and The Shadowman is a story about love. Now, when I say love, I do not mean romance and this is my problem with some of the fiction in which is filling up the supernatural genre. The love has gone.
Evelyn and The Shadowman is a story about a little girl, who has never known love and the friendship she forms with a creature which had been tasked with eating her soul. The love of a good friendship, the love of a parent, what is expected, what happens when it is not there. Love.
Love is not sex. Love is not just romance between two adults. Love is a family. love is a little girl who preferred to sleep downstairs with her pet dogs, love is the cat that follows it’s owner everywhere. Love is the stranger who risks their life for another, with no motive, other than compassion and empathy.
I worry, with the recent influx in the supernatural genre, that it is shown, a woman or man is only happy when they are in a relationship. Not only that, but a flawed, damaging and sexually obsessed relationship. That they need looking after, only being in a relationship are they complete. No, that’s fucking bollocks. You can not love, another human being, until you, yourself are already comfortable with who and what you are.
Love is genderless, ageless and without race or species.
Love is not an 18 year old girl giving up on life because her undead boyfriend pissed off.
Love is not misery.
Love should not complete you, it should make you realise you were already whole, and make you aspire to be the best version of yourself. It really is common sense. So why is it getting portrayed in such a perverse, crass and emotionally damaging manner? Give me a good novel about two best friends, or a mother overcoming everything for her child. Maybe it’s my age, maybe because I know love (being a mother and being in a very healthy relationship), that I just find myself rolling my eyes at some of the things I read.
Thankfully, great writers and great storytellers exist, fighting the good fight for the true portrayal of love within fiction. In the meantime, Disney, You’re doing good… don’t fuck things up by going back to the whole “Girl needs prince blah de blah.”
Do you ever go to type in your password and your fingers go, “No, fuck this, we’ll type some random gibberish.” Fingers…how you betray me.
I did a solid hour of writing today! I have written more previously, but got a important scene down and out of my head, which brought instant relief to the tense muscles that had formed in my shoulders. As I have said before I write backwards. I write the introduction part of the plot, then the ending and then work backwards. I had been suffering self doubt, but zooming out and seeing what I had accomplished while wrangling a child, a university degree and running a home brought a great sense of pride in my accomplishment.
I will celebrate with a coffee and catching up on some reading.
A snippet from the first chapter of Evelyn and The Shadowman. This is the first draft, which for me is all about telling myself the story before editing it for the reader.
She could not move. No matter how she tried, even her bare feet could not wiggle a single toe. She was frozen beneath the immense power of the shadow man, sinking further against the mattress as he pushed her down. She felt his shadowing cold hands snake up her body and was sure they had long talons for nails. Then, his breath her he cold cheek and she clenched her jaw, biting the inside of her cheek to still her fearful moan. There are no such things as monsters. There are no such things, no such things…
His tongue snaked out and she felt its wetness upon her cheek, and through tightly closed eyes tears began to spill until suddenly-
“You’d best be in bed you little shit! Don’t want that teacher telling me you gone and fallen asleep in class again!”
As soon as her mothers slurred and billowing voice carried up the stairs, the weight vanished from on top of her. She heard the soft creek of her bedroom door open and close before the air cleared and she opened her eyes,
“I’m in bed!” She managed to call out, fighting back the growing lump in her throat as she wiped away her tears. Her mother did not answer, nor come up the stairs to check and she heard footsteps below return to the kitchen . Now, alone once more in her bedroom, Evelyn frantically scanned around her stark room and pulled the threadbare blankets to beneath her chin. The Shadow Man was gone. For now.
I have a very old laptop. The screen is hanging on my a hinge, and typing it takes the computer 5-20 seconds to catch up and actually print what I have typed onto the screen. Today, it has been officially dying, reboots, followed by major overheats and general slowness, am now panicking. Knowing my luck, it will blow in the middle of my university work, and event though I backup, I can’t complete the work any other way than via my computer.
So, I have started a go fund me. Sadly, in this economy, and as a parent I have no disposable income to save, or put toward things. My spare money goes on clothing for my daughter, food, bills. Any help, no matter how small, is greatly appreciated.