Is there a problem within The Witchy community?

I read an interesting blog post Located here and as I was reading it I felt myself ready to get on the “equality for all…including men” bandwagon but then realised, I had experienced what the reader had.

Around about 7 years ago I joined a ghastly dating website. I had an extremely long profile which was very clear on what I was seeking in a potential ‘date’. I wrote about literature, my love of classical literature and mythology as well as my desire to find another creative person to spend time with. Of course, I was also very clear of my witchery.

At this time I was in the depths of Somerset, near Glastonbury and I was contacted by a man who we shall call The Freemason (because he is one). This man’s profile read as if I had written it myself. It had almost everything I enjoyed mentioned in and in truth I should of listened to my instinct then. But I did not. I was not the woman I am now and was feeling lonely. Through a series of correspondences I had a date with this man who upon the first date bought me a pair of green earrings (green is my favourite colour).

 

I late realised he had written his profile after viewing mine as a means to lure me in.

I wont bore you with the details, but we began a relationship. He lived in Glasto, I love Glasto and we had some good times. However, things started going south pretty quickly. My instinct was on overdrive that I should end things, but he had weaved his way into my life. He had manoeuvred it so I was working more shifts at my work, but needed him to look after my daughter.

He would tell stories about all the things he had done, making himself the alpha male hero of every adventure. He would tell long stories such as the time he battled an ancient god In Australia (I kid you not) and would call himself a Wizard but would never speak of his beliefs unless I mentioned mine and would belittle everything. When I mentioned spells he would weave long stories about how he was more powerful. In truth, I have more power in my pinky finger than he does in his whole body. Because, dear readers, he is a fraud.

A manipulative man who moved to Glastonbury to entrap and abuse women. During my relationship with him I was approached by 2 of his exes who begged me to leave him, but I thought them annoying exes.

It was during the summer I became ill with strep throat and flu all in the same week. I was very ill. He had always had a high sex drive, but one would think he would understand I was ill. He did not. He would grope me and molest me while I slept, and one night I said to him, “I’m ill..” I had a high temp and had been bedridden for three days. His response was, “I’ll be quick.” Yes, as far as I am concerned he is a rapist and he raped me.

He was domineering toward my daughter making claims, “I always wanted children. I like being able to mould young people.” He surrounded himself with teenagers who he would rule over as some lord.

I ended it.

I was free.

I then reached out to his exes and the stories were very similar. I am extremely good friends with his ex wife.

On one hand, yes I do believe there is a problem in our community of men, slipping in and pretending to be witches and pagans to manipulate women. However, in truth, I believe it is actually a problem with our society. I believe in any community you will get these manipulative men, or women. We need to stand up and say no.

Because of this man, and men like him, there are witches and pagan’s out there who now are aloof and wary of new people and we should be creating a community that is safe for everyone. Sadly, society has nasty people in it, and these people sadly find the witchy community as their hunting grounds.

 

 

 

 

 

Post Summer Solstice || I didn’t do anything

summer-solstice-rex3

 

The Summer Solstice is a major festival for many. But I have a confession to make. I tried, I really did, but I am just not feeling the whole “vibe” of the summer Solstice. I hold my hands up and admit I am rather lapse in my festival worshipping woowoo. I forget dates. But, building up to the solstice,(known as Litha for many of us witchy types) I thought, this year! This is the one I am going to get on board with midsummer.

So it approached, I had plans, I had flowers, I had a plan to re-do my altar, and then it passed with not celebration.  Sorry universe, i’m just not a summer person. I don’t enjoy it. I don’y like it. Combined with being extremely pale and made of Celtic stock, I suffer as soon as the temp gets above 16 Celsius, so the idea of celebrating the giant glowing ball of death in the sky just does not connect with me.

For a long time I felt guilty over this. But now, I am settled in my path and choices. I don’t believe you need to acknowledge ever festival or every holiday. Maybe I am lazy. Heck, I know I am. I work hard and love nothing more than curling up on the sofa with a good book. The universe, the divine, the all understands that and knows I tip my hat to the Majesty of the universe when I feel in the right frame of mind.

I am a autumn baby. I love harvest festivals, Halloween and the long stretch to Yule. Those are the times I come alive with excitement, festivities and fun times.

So, roll on Autumn. You wait, that’s when I get my witchy shit together and rock at festivals!

 

The Magick of Noise: White Noise and Witchcraft

White noise. I admit I was sceptical about it. I mean, who else has clicked on a youtube video fo white noise and covered their ears and clenched their teeth as the overwhelming audio pain rippled through their bodies. How on earth do people fall asleep to this? Well this sceptic does, but by mistake.

It was the full Moon and I was getting my magical shizz together. Often I will load up spotify on my phone, pop in my headphones and get into some deep, kick ass meditation. But, nothing was working any more. I had exhausted my usual meditative music, I tried sounds of rain, sounds of water, sounds of Forest, even the sounds of the city. Nothing. It was distracting me. The creative daydreamer in me would just imagine the hours away and not actually put any energy into my spiritual practise.

So I scrolled through spotify and clicked white noise. I waited for the ear blistering pain, but you know what? It was ok. I actually felt every hair on my body  stand up. I felt energy, I felt connected. It was not distracting, it was a tool that was benefiting me. I cast my sceptic mind aside and rocked on with my full moon ritual.

At some-point I must have fallen asleep, head planted on my altar while praying and working on manifestations as my partner woken me up and it was 2 am. But, my, oh, my, what an amazing sleep and ritual and all round magical shizz!!

If you have not tried white noise, I do reccomend it. If, like me your mind is too loud at times and perhaps like me are a maladaptive daydreamer, this helped me so much. Not only that, but am building back up my energy to work with the spirit world once more, and this certainly helped. It was like an audio powerbar for my third eye. I felt so connected, and aware of the energies around me, and my ancestors and guides communicating with me. It was scary at how connected it made me. A good scary. Fear is good at times, fear is our bodies telling us to be cautious, Caution is good as it allows us time to be respectful. But yes, rock on with white noise and through some research have noted that there is a sound frequency for every colour which I will be delving into soon!

Stay true, stay beautiful!

Changing Pantheons and Belief in Paganism: Leaving Asatru

Have you ever woken up in the morning and decided you no longer like something? Or perhaps that favourite TV series just does not resonate with you any more. You don’t dislike it, you do not state it no longer exists, but you have grown and changed and it’s time for something new.
I have a confession to make and it’s been building for a while. But first a little back story.
I have been an ‘Asatru’ pagan for a decade, and a witch for 20 years. I have met some obstacles from other heathens with the fact I have always had a polytheistic approach to believing in all pantheons.  For the past 6 months I have been on a personal crusade to better myself as a human being and heal from mental illness. I have been asking some pretrt hard questions, I even had a Sunday where I took myself to a Christian church. I have been neck deep in self help books, different religious texts and spiritual progression.
So, my confession. I am not longer an Asatru pagan. I still believe in Odin, Frigg, Freya, Loki, but it’s time for me to move on and it’s a rather scary prospect.
You see, over the past several months The God Pan has been tapping me on the shoulder, and appearing in my dreams and I feel transported back to when I was a child, obsessed with the greek myths and legends. I revisited that passion I had as a child. It has been marvellous.  But then I crashed. I overthought. I broke my spirit.
I have found myself burdened down by labels, so many labels. Eclectic pagan, Heathen, Greek, Pantheistic, Polytheistic, Chaos Magick. So may types and labels that yesterday broke me and I felt lost.
I asked for help, and was thankful to find others who thought as I did, who felt burdened by labels and who also overthought things.
So here is what I believe.
I believe all pantheons exist. However, I do believe some gods and goddesses are the same entity just viewed differently by different people.  I believe deities exist as actual beings, not constructs or archetypes. I believe our universe is complex with different levels and multi-verses where different entities exist.  I also believe that the universe itself is a living entity, the creator spirit, the spark, and within it lives deities, spirits, entities and of course us. As separate, unique beings with conscious thought.
I believe in the Fae and the Fae realm
I believe in ghosts and spirits.
I believe every living thing has a spirit, a soul. I believe plants and animals can manifest their spirit in the form or personified entities. Such as Nymphs.
I also believe in Demons and angels and this caused several issues in my thought process. Do I believe in the Christian God?  Not in the way Christians do, and is not an energy I work with, but I do believe that there are planes of existence where there are beings of light and beings of dark.
I believe in reincarnation.
I believe in magick.
My magical practise may very well change, thought I never really worked with deity while I was Asatru in my magical practise, I worked with my ancestors and Fae and spirits and while I held Frigg and Odin as my matron and patron, I never had a good solid relationship with them.  But Pan, I am excited to work with him. Odd, as when I was a child I used to have nightmares about seeing Pan in the woodland near by house and how scary he was. Now as an adult I am like, “Dude, let’s get our wild magical shit on!”
Goddess wise, this is on hold, Frigg will always be special to me, but I think I need someone as twisty and dark as I am.

So, I have been on my pagan path for 20 years and its still changing. 

The Fae, the Fey, wee folk, Tomte & Landvættir ("land wights")

Mercury is in retrograde! Reading tea-leaves and being an empath during this time.

It has been a while since I posted a blog, and I apologise. I promise I have actually been busy and not just procrastinating and vanishing into youtube-watching land. Lots has been happening and I will be updating soon!

Everything is good right now and what do I see as I look down at my desktop diary? The impending date of April 9th. Mercury Retrograde will soon be upon us all. Now, do not panic! There is always allot of buzz around Mercury Retrograde so let me explain what it means.

Astrologically Mercury appears to be movign backward. However it is not. Because of it’s closeness to the sun, and us, 3 (ish) times a year it speeds past Earth. Now, it’s not really going backwards, because of our speed and Mercury’s speed it appears to be going backward. This happens for around 3 weeks and is called retrograde.

What does Mercury control?

Mercury rules communication. This inlcudes reading, speaking learning, reserachin,g editing, buying, selling (you get the point). Mercury also governs over technology.

When a planet retrogrades  these area’s tend to go a bit ‘fruit-loopy’. Astrologically this is because when a planet retrogrades it’s basically falling into a slumber state and this is why many report various degree’s of chaos during Mercury’s retrograde.

How does this affect Witchcraft

A full moon is also approaching and I plan on giving a tea-leaf reading to a client that evening. During retrograde. Am I crazy? No. During retrograde (and I have been through many) there are several things I have noticed:

  • Petitions to deities and ancestors get lost in translation
I find that any candle magic or jar magic I perform which involves petitioning from a deity or spiritual entity is very very slow acting, almost as if my message got lost in the mail. That said, I have found a stronger energy surrounding my ancestors, house wights and Fey species. Overall, it’s a lot like wifi, it’s hit or miss if you get a signal, and when you do, it’s either very poor or REALLY good. 
  • Divination and spiritual communication is more or less accurate, understanding however is challenging. 
I have experienced really potent and intense readings (both tea-leaf reading and through communicating with spirits). Everything comes through loud and clear, however, my understanding can be lessened. It’s easier to be confused or read mixed signals. This also goes hand in hand with my emotions, I have trouble understanding them. To get through it all, and to make sure I do not misunderstand anything, I first focus on me, as a whole, I meditate, I calm myself, I blog, I journal, I focus on my spiritual self, and make sure I am at my best. Think of it like a spiritual work out before a marathon. 
Overall, outside of my magical practise, it’s everything else that goes haywire, and as witches, pagans, empaths or warm heart spiritual souls, we must remember to step back during Retrograde, recharge and look after out spiritual and emotional well-being. Otherwise, we’ll find ourselves weighed down by it all. 

Psychic or Cuckoo? That is the question.

Psychic or Cuckoo? That is the question.
We’ve all been there. Laying in bed at night, nodding off, feeling the soft weight of the duvet and soothing warmth washes over us.
“Wake up!”
Now, I am making a rather grand presumption that those who do not struggle with mental illness also have audio hallucinations, because Wikipedia told me so.  It is most common for those not suffering from psychosis to have at least one audio hallucination in their life time, usually just before slipping into REM sleep or just as they awake.
So I have been pondering. What is a hallucination and what is a spiritual event.
By spiritual event, I mean, either being contacted or witnessing a ghost, spirit, Wight, Fey species or God.
By Hallucination I mean, witnessing, feeling or seeing something constructed by your own mind as a result of a mental illness, or neurological illness.
I see dead people. The problem is, I also hallucinate dead people…well, one dead person, My mother. How do I differentiated between her and the other spirits I see? I used to hallucinate my mother when she was alive. 
Intuition comes into play, and I, like many others who live with mental illness know our minds and body extremely well. We study ourselves on a daily basis. When I hallucinate my mother, there is always a little voice that says, ‘not real’, sometimes it is very quiet, sometimes loud, sometimes I must dig deep to hear it. But it’s there. It’s a gut reaction, deep instinct that I know, she is not real. I am not haunted by my mother, she is not real.
But this does pose the question, is mental illness a sign of perhaps being too spiritually Intune with things? Does our human mind struggle with being strong empaths, psychic abilities and such? Or do these abilities stem from mental illness.  There were several studies on the effects of LSD on the human mind, studies that linked into the fact most humans can only see, hear and process a finite amount of information, and when under the influence of LSD their minds opened, many claimed to see aura’s, energy radiating off people, off machines.
How often has our pet cat or dog been fixated on a part of the room, growling or hissing and we see nothing.
Intuition is my gift, it allows me to recognise hallucination from spiritual event. A spiritual event for me varies in what emotions I feel, but there is always that gut instinct that tells me it’s real, as opposed to the little voice that tells me my mother is a construct of my own mind.

So how do we tell the difference. We can’t, but we do, we know, it’s that same feeling that tells you to take a different route to work, or that you shouldn’t trust someone. Intuition, a gift that saves, and helps and allows us to heal. Intuition is a great tool for mental illness, and is one of my trusted friends.